This Saturday will mark the 23rd year of my life.  While I realize this age is nothing like turning 30, and thankfully still very far from 40, I’ve noticed that with every year comes a new contradiction - a moment in which I’ve thought or done the opposite of what I used to believe to be silly or just super lame.

Remember when shopping at Hollister was cool?  My best friend and I would always go in there for new clothes when we were in High School.  For awhile most of my shirts had that little seagull on the front, and I thought it was mildly amusing to wear a brand that is also one of my nicknames.  But Hollister isn’t any different from those other bro-stores - they all seem to have the latest horrid cologne spilling out through the air conditioners; they have models who model everything except clothing (maybe a knit hat on a good day?), make you shop in the dark, and blast the latest mainstream pop.  

If you’re 16 and shopping at either one of these stores, the loud music might as well being playing on low and the light is perfect.  The thumping, store-rattling bass and yellowish tint will never bother a single Dude or Betty (Hollister lingo), but will always successfully chase out every mom and dad (unless of course they’re denying their age and are also shopping as dudes and bettys).  I remember dragging my parents into Hollister one time, probably to point out a sale, and it was probably a pointless trip in to begin with.  They begrudgingly followed me to the back of the store where I fished through tops and skirts attempting to find an appropriate article of clothing.  I got frustrated though because all my parents could do was complain about the music level and extremely dim lighting.  What music level?  And what dim light?  I can see fine, and the music is hardly playing!  My parents were so put-off by the ear-pounding beats and darkness that they turned around and started towards the promise of bright light and low music volumes.  I huffed heavily and stomped out of the store behind them thinking, “When I’m older, I will never think the music is too loud or the light is too dim.  I’ll be so much cooler.”

The truth is, I’m not any (but maybe a little bit) cooler than my parents.  I leave stores when the music is too loud, and complain when the light is too dark.  I even left Payless the other day because someone okayed the playing of Britney Spears.  I may not be, as the saying goes, “older and wiser”, but at least I finally know what a shopping experience should be like.